Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Ain't Nobody Gettin' in the Way of My Truth!

I have to admit that when I started my physical therapy that I was in a very angry place. I hated the fact that here I was ~ yet again. Still. ~ dealing with the outcome of what had been done to me. Angry at the thought of having to travel up and down that healing spiral once again. Furious at having been pushed into facing it. Pushed. Such a pansy word. More like hog-tied, blindfolded and catapulted into the midst of it. 

And yet I noticed something along the way. The more I spoke my Truth, the faster my healing came. I didn't hold back. I refused to keep anything hidden or unspoken. 

Jesus said, "And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free." John 8:32 
Of course, He was talking about freedom from sin. But sin is what caused my pain in the first place. My father's act of sin wreaked havoc on my body and my life. And as I continued to hold onto that sin and keep it a secret all these years, it made me sick and fearful.

The minute I opened my mouth and broke my Silence, my Truth began setting me free. The more I spoke about it, the lighter I felt. A Phoenix born of the ashes. Flying high. Full of color and life.

I have learned to speak even when my voice shakes. Even when the fear inside tells me to "Be Quiet!" Even when doubt says it's not worth saying anything. So what if my voice shakes? Who cares? What's important is the words and Truth falling from my lips. 

I refuse to let anyone else tell my story. I'm the only one who has lived it. I'm the only one that knows the facts. There are plenty of people who try and tell me what my Truth should be, or that it's wrong, or I don't have the right to speak or feel the way I do.

Ya know what? I'm going to continue telling my story until I'm fully healed. Inside and Out. In fact, I'm even going to continue telling it after that! Speaking, talking, writing, singing...has set me FREE! Why in the world would I give that joy and blessing up? 

I can't help the fact that you may get offended or that you don't like what I say. And, frankly, I don't care. It's MY Story. MY Truth. MY Life. MY Healing. Not yours. 

Here I am on the 6th week of physical therapy. And next week we dwindle down to only once per week. THAT is something to shout about! I prayed and prayed for a healing and He gave me my voice so that I could speak about what is True. What is Real. And when I began letting it flow freely from my mouth, the healing came with it. 

No. I'm not totally physically healed. It's quite possible that I may never be. That's not what's important. What is important is that I've learned to embrace my Story and not let anyone take it from me. I've learned to speak my Truth even though my voice shakes at times. Herein lies my strength and I double-dog dare you to try and rip it away from me!

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