Wednesday, June 25, 2014

A Change of Heart

"Empathy is about finding echoes of another person in yourself." - Mohsin Hamid
I heard some things the other day about someone that is not one of my favorite people. She is everything you would never want to be. 
Judgemental. Two-faced. Jealous. Vindictive. Rude. Just a really mean person.
I could go on and on. But, just like everyone, she has another side to her that is good. She's talented and creative. Loves her kids. She's smart. What I heard wasn't good and for a split second, I felt a surge of happiness that FINALLY she had gotten what she deserved. And surprisingly, that feeling went away as quickly as it had come.

Instead, I felt sadness for her and her situation. Her childhood sucked. Really sucked. And her adult life has been spent running, hiding and otherwise trying to deal with it without actually facing it. Those demons have chased her and taunted her and she has finally been chained to the "fate" of those before her. I feel bad that those childhood demons and the sins of her parents have created such a painful spot in her life that she became who she is today. And it makes me sad that she's not only losing herself but those around her. 

At the end of the day, I realized that the past few years have changed me more than I thought. If this had happened to this woman 4 years ago, I would have felt giddy and smug that karma had kicked her in the ass and paid her back for every mean and bitchy thing she ever did to me, said to me, and lied about me. I would have floated higher than Cloud 9 for MONTHS. But I've grown and changed. The fact that I can feel compassion for my 'enemy' is beyond amazing to me. I can put myself in her shoes because I had a childhood that could very well have destroyed me had I not dug deep and dealt with it. I could be her right now but I was given the choice to walk down a different path and I took it. 
I thank God that my heart is different. I would hate to walk around wishing and waiting for Karma to strike those that have hurt me. What a miserable existence.

Thursday, June 12, 2014

Les Misérables

Do you know someone like this? Or are YOU that person? People who are happy with themselves and with their lives do not have time to spend energy on spewing lies and crap about others. They're busy chasing and living their dreams. 

The one thing I've noticed about these miserable people is that their negative energy is like a black ooze that permeates into every area of their life and, if they're lucky, affects those around them. This is what they want, after all. These gloomy, sad souls want nothing more than to drag everyone down to the level of despair that they feel. They will spend their time pointing out the faults and failures of others to anyone who is foolish enough to listen. Why? Because it makes them feel superior, smarter and better about themselves. If they can drag someone down, trample their name and paint a horrible picture about that person to the world it gives them a rush and a feeling, for a very short time, of satisfaction. The result, of course, isn't that people think any less of the person whose life and reputation they are trying to destroy. Instead, the miserable gossiper is the one who looks like a fool in the end. People begin to associate their name with someone who can't be trusted and who is malicious and ugly inside.

Don't be that person! Stop and ask yourself why do you want to hurt that person? What part of their life are you envious of? What characteristic do they have that you want? Are you just so bored with your life that anyone who comes along and is the least bit happy with themselves becomes your target?

Then do something about it! 
Go begin a new hobby, change jobs, get a job, go back to on yourself! Start making yourself into the kind of person you dream about. Begin living your dreams and setting goals instead of tearing someone else down. If you're the one who is being trash talked and there's someone who can't seem to stop talking about you ......
Be thankful and count your blessings!
Number one- you already know you're happy, content and feeling fulfilled in your life so you should be giving thanks on a daily basis already.
Second, someone sees something so inherently good in you that not only do they want it for themselves but they want to take it away from you. Don't let them. Ignore the sad, pathetic people and what they are saying. Remember, it's not you who will suffer anyway. Negativity and unkindness always ricochet back to the source and do more damage on their return then the initial hit on the intended target.