a penny for your thoughts....

there’s this thought that keeps running through my mind. i guess to make it stop, i need to write about it. i’ve never been a fighter. i hate confrontation. the reality is that i’ve never had a major problem with any of my friends or even a stranger my entire life.

there was the friend that decided to tell strangers and friends all the private details of my divorce that i had confided to her. when i confronted her with it, i told her she had breached my trust and i could no longer consider her my friend. we had known each other since we had been in diapers. she then decided to “jab” back and lie to me that her husband had died so that i’d feel sorry for her and take her back. it didn’t’ work. almost ten years went by before i decided to open that door again. but i did it only half-heartedly. i didn’t confide in her. i didn’t let her into my life too far. once again, she lied and betrayed my trust when she went behind my back and sent a message to my sister about an issue that wasn’t her business. and then lied to my face about it and blamed it on my sister. that was the end of that friendship. again. this time forever.

or the friend that decided that her problem of what color bridesmaid dresses she should have and how she was going to spy on her fiancé at his bachelor party were so more important than listening to what i was going through at the time. that even though i was training for a new job, working at my parents’ house, helping my mom who had just had a hysterectomy, going to karate and gymnastics and not getting home to even eat supper until after 8:30pm....that was NO excuse for not returning (literally) 64 calls she had made to my house within a 12 hour period. And for that reason alone ~ i was deemed a crappy friend. never mind that i was the only one that had been there during her divorce, her foreclosure, her bankruptcy and every other major and minor issue in her life those past 2 years. she would call or show up at my house at all hours of the day and night and i would drop everything to listen and help. suddenly, i’m unavailable and deemed unworthy of her friendship.

i never had an issue with any of my high school friends or anyone throughout my adult life. i still have kept secrets from elementary school. i’ve never betrayed a confidence or lied to a friend about anything. any one of my friends can tell you the kind of person i am. any one of the people i went to school with, church with or have worked with can tell you. i’m not a fighter, a liar, a drama queen, a trouble maker...whatever kind of names you want to give it.

but those aren’t the kind of problems i’m talking about. there are 2 women in my life that i’m having the same issue with. these women are liars. they are two-faced; pretending to be so sweet, christian-like and honest but, in fact, are the opposite. this fact has been proven over and over again by too many people to count. they have both lied about me and continue to do so. they have blogged about me and tried to get others to believe that i’m really not who i say i am, that i’m fake and a liar. they both have people that they consider great friends who inform me of all the nasty things they say or blog. they have both been sweet and pretended to be my friend at one time, until i trusted them and then stabbed me in the back. and twisted the truth about what happened.

the thought that keeps running through my mind is WHY are these the only two people i’ve EVER had these kinds of problems with? Obviously, i’m not the problem here. if i was who they say i am ~ this would be a continuing theme in my life. there would an unending chain of people who could all say the same things they are saying. but there is no long line. only a lonely line of two.

on the other hand, i can find an abundance of people who have been burned, hurt, lied about, lied to or treated badly by these two. there are still those that don’t know the real wolf under the sheep’s clothing. there are those that still trust. the majority, however, know different. the funny thing is, these two women believe that they are always the victim and that they have done no wrong. they believe every word they say. they believe their own lies.

i am glad that no one is fooled by what they say. i’m glad that there are so many people that know the real me and can testify to my nature. i’m glad that the truth always makes its way out and far outshines the darkness.

and THAT is worth more than just a penny.