Tuesday, June 30, 2009

It Doesn't Matter

It doesn't matter.

Does it? I always thought it did but I'm beginning to think otherwise.

My bonus daughter says this phrase a lot. Mostly to make herself feel better about an otherwise irritating situation. The kids are in the habit of calling "shotgun" when we get in the car. It's an easier way for them to "take turns" than to keep track of who sat where last. When she forgets to call it, even though you can see she's mad about it, she says, "It doesn't matter." And then she lets it go.

I usually get so angry when someone lies about me. I worry about what people think about me, especially if their perspective about me is off. I fight for the truth to be known and will argue and push until the other person sees it.

But hearing my bonus daughter vocalize that phrase repeatedly over the past month has changed my view on things.

I love honesty. I love truth. I love simplicity and peace.

I found out this past weekend, (a lot I already knew), that another person has been bad-mouthing me and telling lies about me and my mom. She has emailed and called other family members repeatedly spewing trash from her mouth. My family welcomed me with open arms despite her attempts to destroy those relationships. Each one of my aunts and uncles told me not to worry about it. They are tired of hearing from her. Tired of her lies and complaining. Angry by the fact that a person would do that to another family member.

"It doesn't matter."

My uncle told me that one reason nobody believes her or even wants to listen to her is because they know who I am and who she is. It is my character that speaks for me. And hers for her. It has never been me that has bad mouthed her or gone to other family members and spoken ugly things about her. Yet since we were young, it has been her that has stirred up drama, talked bad about each of her family members, and told lie after lie. And in light of the events of the past 2 years, they are disgusted that she would stoop to the level she has.

"It doesn't matter."

I have held my tongue through the worst because it doesn't matter.

I have turned the other cheek time and again because it doesn't matter.

There is only ONE that matters. God. We should be concerned about what He thinks about us. We should care how He sees us.


I have learned that when I let things go and don't try and "fix" it on my own ~ the truth comes out. It may take a month. It may take a year. It may take a decade.
But it does come out.

Does it really matter what lies are told about me? Does it really matter what people believe about me? Does it really matter how someone else sees me?

Honestly? NO. If I just keep living my life and letting the unnecessary things go ~ The TRUTH will come out.

It's been proven over and over in my life. And it's taken me this long to realize it.

Backing down to confrontation doesn't mean you are giving up.

Not fighting back doesn't mean that you know the other person is right and that you're wrong.

Being assertive isn't about fighting back and responding.

Sometimes standing up for yourself and standing up for the truth means that you have to close your mouth and turn and walk away.

The rest will take care of itself. It doesn't matter ~ let it go.

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